Tag Archives: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

Animals Unite Against Religion

AnimalsRaccoon are calling in to add their voices in agreement with Sen. Brownbeck’s proposed bill to ban animal-human hybrids.  The animals, making it known through their PETA spokesperson, are also united in asking other states to join Louisiana’s Bill 115 in making it illegal to create a human-animal hybrid.

Apparently, animals are afraid that if they are given enough human genetic material they run the risk developing self-awareness close to that of humans.  The animals fear that such a degree of self-awareness could lead to the same sort of religiosity that has cursed humans for millennium.   Such consciousness, they fear, could lead animals to also acquire the illusion of dualism, and the delusion of a non-material death-surviving self.  A top animal spokesman says that such cognitive handicaps, offering only negligible survival advantages, could result in religious ideation among their fellow animals.  Animals dread such a possibility.  They worry that this may lead to a huge variety of animal religions in conflict with each other and end in huge animal wars and the decimation of the animal kingdom.

PETA reports that their interviews with Mr. Opossum, Mr. Raccoon, Mrs. Fox confirms a kingdom-wide concern about such flagrant arrogance in tampering with their genetics.  They are asking Atheist humans, as animals themselves, to call in to Sen. Brownbeck to show their support and to help stop these atrocities.

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